cry baby

A truly beautiful song just came on and I started to cry.

Not out of sadness, I was just moved. My mindfulness kicked in, and as soon as I witnessed myself feeling such an intense emotion, I had an epiphany: it is ridiculous for me to ever feel ashamed of my ability to feel so deeply, and actually, this capacity for deep emotion is quite profound and beautiful; it is the purest expression of your humanity.

Shame causes me to dwell on "Why am I such a cry baby? Why do I feel this way? What is wrong with me?" These are all beliefs that have been imposed on me, mostly by people who don't understand. There is nothing wrong with me!

I've tried shutting myself down to fit the expectations of others (or my perception of the expectations of others), and what a waste of time that was.

Tears of joy remind me of how wonderful the world is; tears of sadness are my catharsis. Why would I want to deny myself of this?

Isn't it magnificent that I can be moved by a song?

There is a line from a blog post (for the life of me I can't remember where from) that seriously helped me work through my emotions during my break up:

"You can't ride the lightening and not expect to get shocked once in a while."

There is a direct analogy to the way I view my emotions. I am "riding the lightening".

Removing the shame and mindfully embracing my emotions will likely do me a world of good.

Bottom line is: I have true appreciation for my sensitivity, and I am no longer ashamed of it whatsoever. I am going to embrace my ability to feel deeply and witness myself experience it with fondness. Even the grisly emotions like grief, anger, shame, and anxiety: these emotions signal what's important to me and they remind me I'm alive.

You can be sensitive and powerful, and you are!